Meeting 3 - stalking in SL

This was the third meeting of the SLLU Feminist Network and again it was really well attended. The topic for discussion was stalking in SL.

Experiences were shared. These ranged from unwanted attention, persistent ‘spying’ from neighbouring parcels, appearing in homes without invitation, fear of alts being created to continue ‘spying’ undetected, attempts to restrict contact with others to threats of distributing rl photos and information.

One issue was the pressure women were sometimes under to give out more information about rl than they were comfortable with including email addresses, skype names and using voice.

There just wasn’t enough time to recount everyone’s experiences.

It was clear however that these experiences were both common place and at times emotionally distressing. Some women have left SL as a result or have ditched their avi and started all over again.

The ‘mechanics’ of SL were discussed. The ability to ‘hide’, be ‘invisible’, track people’s on line status, muting, home security systems, radar systems etc. In some cases bans from sims had worked and in others abuse reports had been used but with little success.

It seemed that the most important factor in dealing with these events was having someone to talk to and being believed. In some cases it was only the intervention of a third party which helped put an end to the stalking activities.

The ‘official’ advice from Linden is to collect evidence, use the Abuse Report System and then avoid and ignore the stalker.

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The following suggestions were made:-

-a support group for people being stalked
- something that seems more "official"....so and so has sought the intercession of the Feminist Network. We have a report on your actions. You are being asked to cease and desist
- a forum to come and share experiences (and a blog) with personal narratives is also important so as to make it visible and raise awareness
-help in producing abuse reports
-also on the technical side to increse privacy and security of citizens inworld
-join other groups working for increasing 'invisibility'
-writing a post on stalking might be a small but important thing to do
-what if we put together a sort of kit? if we had a kit what should be in it?
-information on how do things like file an abuse report, where to get radar, things like that
-an advice notecard
-a kiosk at some place like orientation island
-tell them that people hang out at the slave silk store....tell them what slave silks are and let them know it's ok to say no and what to do if the person persists with info in a notecard that just said...IT'S OK TO SAY NO ...they may not run into a problem till they've been here a bit. But they might remember that notecard they got

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So ... we need help with this

Send us anything you think will be useful in a support kit
Send us your stories if you are happy to share them (no names of course)
Send us details of any other support you know about

Come to next Sunday’s meeting, same time (12 noon) same place.

( That reminds me ... can any premium members who could donate tier please contact Plot Tracer... we need this to keep our space here ... thanks)

More info here:-
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/phorum/read.php?22,98427,98427#msg-98427
http://secondlife.com/newsletter/2006_05/html/police_blotter.html
http://www.wiredsafety.org/gb/stalking/

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The meetings are fun too ... not all doom and gloom ....

: hiya :) how's you?
:Got a bad cough :C
: oooh snap
: me too
: coughs germs everywhere
: I have an antivirus programme that takes care of those
: sl seems short of hankies
:There must be sneezing anims?
: It's what we really need to make SL complete. Gestures for illnesses
: skins with spots
: ewww
: I have seen gestures for barfing
: lovely
: someone gave me an apple once
: And you made the fatal mistake of trying it?
: it wasnt pretty
: I bet not. You weren't living with 7 little men at the time, were you?
: I think I may have heard this story . . .
: if only ...i have only found 6 so far :)
: The seventh is under the bed. They always are
: be good if they did some cleaning while they were there
: Well, that's the good thing about them. They collect dustbunnies
: You just need to shake them out the window
: i knew there was a use for men
: always a good way to start a Feminist meeting ...jokes about men :)

And a final PS

A friendly guy was working nearby and kindly moved further away so we could talk in private. He popped back to say goodbye.

Him: hey girls
Us: we're still in a meeting :)
Him: I'm going home...
Him: seeya another time
Him: pretty preety you are...
Him:think .... if you were not feminists
Us: lol
Him: lol
Him: good night
Us: was that a compliment?
Us: I need an eyerolling animation . . .
Him: kisses for all
Us: mind you ...we do all look pretty good ..so he does have a point :)
Us: so we are too pretty to be feminists
Us: I'll work on that. I have an ugly skin somewhere
Us: And big boots
Us: And hairy armpits . . .
Us: You know, the "feminist uniform"
Us: im wearing mine
Us: the boots ...not the arm pits
Us: one has to work to get certain men understand that we're feminists for their sake … that there's something in it for them … like happier women